What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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Dallas Cowboys

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What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

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The chicken crossed the road.

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Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

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Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

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Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Benevolent villain.

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What's worse than anti-joke.com? Non-anti-joke.com! Louis

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A. Wanna Hear a funny joke? B. Yes! A. The WNBA.

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Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

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9/11 was a shocking time for all of us.

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So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

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Roses are red violets are next thing you know my D*** is in you

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

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Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

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Rob Bell

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"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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