Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was mmfmffemuuuuuffuummuuuuuluuu.

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Wanna hear an inside joke? Cancer.

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Ask me if I am an orange. "Are you an orange?" No.

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You touch yourself. I do, too.

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A dog goes into a bar. He is wearing an eye patch. The dog says to the bartender, "Have you heard the one about the one-eyed dog?" The bartender, who is deaf in one ear, thinks the dog is making fun of him. He asks him to leave. The dog says, "Don't you have a sense of humor, deafie?" At the end of his shift, the bartender is tired of all the jokes. Today it's a one-eyed dog. Yesterday it was a horse with rickets. The day before: ants. He lives above the bar, in a small room. He spends the night alone there, listing to his battery operated radio, which picks up only a bad jazz station. He listens to bad jazz with his bad ear.

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A women leaves the kitchen.

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Q: what do you call a black guy on the moon A: An astronaut you resist bastard

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why is yo mamma fat? cause she likes doughnuts

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A boy walks into a baker, asks for a loaf of bread. The baker enquires "White or brown?" to which the boy replies "It doesn't matter, I've got my bike."

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What's black and blue and red all over? Due to the infinite nature of the universe many items both natural and manufactured could be described in this manner.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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If an iPad 2 is better than an iPad 1, than what's better than an iPad 2? An iPad 3

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Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but if you set him on fire, he'll die

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch". The nearby patrons ask him what is ailing him.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops. What's worse than being raped by a Triceratops? Being gang raped by a herd of Triceratops.

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Why are these jokes so funny? I don't know?

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Why was sally crying? she was sad

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So I was making this bagel right?And my dad walks in while I'm making this bagel(cause we're in a rush you know?) and he's yells"HURRY UP!!!!"I'm like man.... I sure do got alot of YELL in my bagel .

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" Not the best move Anne Frank ever made.

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Q: What has two wheels and is not funny? A:Ryan Vallee on a segway -Ryan V

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Q: why is the squirrel stuck in the tree? A: because he should have finished high school.

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What is black, white and hungry? A woman with a rare skin disorder known as Vitiligo which causes discolourtion of the skins pigment in patches; who is hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops