Knock Knock Who's there? I'm from the Department of Child Services, i'm here to take your children.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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A man walked into a bar...Ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall of the building and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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I used to be a Businessman like you, then I took a plane to the North Tower.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves the bar slightly intoxicated.

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Why did the man die in his office? Because a storm five miles away took down a power line that fell onto a truck igniting the fuel in it causing an explosion that started a forest fire that burned down another power line causing a spark to fly out of the man's phone and into his ear, killing him instantly.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Your mother is so fat that her body takes up more space than the average woman.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Because Jimmy was a fish

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What's the difference between a bowl of cereal and a bowl of pudding? A bowl of cereal has milk in it.

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What is the saddest part of a Jew's life? The fact that every single day the world turns more and more 'jokingly' anti-semetic until the point that the Jewish people have become so overwhelmed by depression that they begin committing suicide until the point of Jewish extinction.

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what do you call a muslim driving a plane? a pilot

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Bill: Did you hear about the black guy that went to college? John: No. Bill: me neither...

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what's funnier than Norm Mcdonald? EVERY THING

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So there are 2 ninjas in a dojo, The first ninja turns to the second ninja, and says something in Japanese

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why couldn't the Mexican get a job? because of the multiple racist jokes gave his ethnicity a bad name.

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why are fire engines red? well books are red magazines are red 2 two plus two is four four times three is 12 there are 12 inches in a ruler queen elizabeth was a ruler, queen elizabeth was also a ship, ships sail in the sea fish swim in the sea, fish have fins, fins fought the russians, russians are always red, fire engines are always russian. and THAT is why fire engines are red....

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why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? because i shot it.

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Yeah, you cant make nukes without certain components which are illegal to come by, you know Iranian Uranium I believe, I still feel pretty ill, if you dont mind, lets change the subject. Say, does the word yellowcake mean anything to you?

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Knock knock. Who's? There Where? Right here.

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What do you call a girl with 2 brains? Pregnant

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What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion? No one cries when you cut up a bagpipe. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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What does a cat sound like when it's being raped by a human? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!

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When life gives you lemons... you probably just found lemons...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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