Your mother is so fat that her body takes up more space than the average woman.

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When life gives you lemons... you probably just found lemons...

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A man dropped his pen so he picked it up. He is satisfied that he is a sufficient worker.

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why didnt the boys drink the coffee? because she coughed on it

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What's the difference between a bowl of cereal and a bowl of pudding? A bowl of cereal has milk in it.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Because Jimmy was a fish

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What do you call a girl with 2 brains? Pregnant

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Whats red, green, and goes 60 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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whats bonged in and looks like milk? harry after some cani

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What is the saddest part of a Jew's life? The fact that every single day the world turns more and more 'jokingly' anti-semetic until the point that the Jewish people have become so overwhelmed by depression that they begin committing suicide until the point of Jewish extinction.

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

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Bill: Did you hear about the black guy that went to college? John: No. Bill: me neither...

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Q. Why did the sheep die? A. I pushed it off a bridge

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why are fire engines red? well books are red magazines are red 2 two plus two is four four times three is 12 there are 12 inches in a ruler queen elizabeth was a ruler, queen elizabeth was also a ship, ships sail in the sea fish swim in the sea, fish have fins, fins fought the russians, russians are always red, fire engines are always russian. and THAT is why fire engines are red....

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Why did the man die in his office? Because a storm five miles away took down a power line that fell onto a truck igniting the fuel in it causing an explosion that started a forest fire that burned down another power line causing a spark to fly out of the man's phone and into his ear, killing him instantly.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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what did batman day to robin? get in the car robin.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm from the Department of Child Services, i'm here to take your children.

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Horse tits

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why couldn't the Mexican get a job? because of the multiple racist jokes gave his ethnicity a bad name.

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Why did the elf cry? Because someone stole his shoe.

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what's funnier than Norm Mcdonald? EVERY THING

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What do people say? words.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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