A guy walks into a store and buys a sandwich.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm from the Department of Child Services, i'm here to take your children.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't keep a Ferrari in my garage. (????)?

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Frogs with dislocated fingers....................................................CARROT

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why are fire engines red? well books are red magazines are red 2 two plus two is four four times three is 12 there are 12 inches in a ruler queen elizabeth was a ruler, queen elizabeth was also a ship, ships sail in the sea fish swim in the sea, fish have fins, fins fought the russians, russians are always red, fire engines are always russian. and THAT is why fire engines are red....

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What happens when you cross a housecat with a feral cat? A kitten is born.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Why'd jimmy drop his candy wrapper? He was brutally melested and stabbed I the eyeballs with forks and cut into pieces before he could make it to the trash can. He was then thrown into the trash can he was going to.

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Your mother is so fat that her body takes up more space than the average woman.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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An Israeli, a Palestinian and an American walk into a bar. The Israeli shoots the Palestinian and says it was self defence. The American agrees with him.

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A man walked into a bar...Ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall of the building and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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Why did the man die in his office? Because a storm five miles away took down a power line that fell onto a truck igniting the fuel in it causing an explosion that started a forest fire that burned down another power line causing a spark to fly out of the man's phone and into his ear, killing him instantly.

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How do you keep an italian from talking? You duct tape his mouth.

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How many arabs can fit in a 2007 honda accord? legally up to 5

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Why did the black guy get fired from his job. I asked first.

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ok i got one for ya 2 Penn State coaches walk in to a butt....

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Knock knock. Who's? There Where? Right here.

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whats bonged in and looks like milk? harry after some cani

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what did the goat say to the shepherd? goats can't talk.

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I know you are but what am I? A queer.

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why did the guy with cancer die? because he had cancer

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Why did the elf cry? Because someone stole his shoe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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