I would write a joke, but it wouldn't be funny

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What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a person of Jewish descent and the other is a device for traversing waterways akin to the raft.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation can be known as fishing for compliments or reassurance of your value as a human being. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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What's the differrence between a park bench and a black person... A park bench can support a family

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

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Whats the difference between the floor and the ceiling? One of them is higher!

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch". The nearby patrons ask him what is ailing him.

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The jinx machine just stole your money... ... this poem was supposed to be funny

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what can I get you?" The man replies "what do you recommend?" The bartender says "get a beer." The man says "okay."

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Q: what do you call a black guy on the moon A: An astronaut you resist bastard

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Because Jimmy was a fish

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I used to be a Businessman like you, then I took a plane to the North Tower.

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What did the 16 year old boy say to the obese girl who failed at typing? "sucks for you bitch-face."

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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What's more fun than nailing babies to a wall? Ripping them off again.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

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Q: why is the squirrel stuck in the tree? A: because he should have finished high school.

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What's grosser than gross? Grossest.

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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Q: What has two wheels and is not funny? A:Ryan Vallee on a segway -Ryan V

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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