Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was crossing the road it tripped on a rock. When it was getting back up, a bus went through a stop sign and ran it over. After suffering for 3 weeks in an animal hospital, the chicken died.

If a tree falls on a woman, and there's no one around to hear it, what was a tree doing in the kitchen?

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

Why are elephants ears sooo big? The big ears are to help the elephants stay cool. Elephants don't sweat, so they have a hard time dissipating excess heat (keeping cool). Their large ears contain many blood vessels that allow heat to escape into the air. When you see elephants they are usually moving their ears back and forth. This fanning helps to dissipate more heat than if their ears remained still. The enormous ears of elephants act as cooling devices. The gigantic earflaps (which can measure up to 2 square metres (21.5 square feet) are equipped with an intricate web of blood vessels. When the animal flaps its ears, the blood temperature lowers by as much as 5 degrees Celsius (9 degrees Fahrenheit). To keep cool

what do you call your cousin drew? drouchebag

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I am homeless, Can I have some food?

what did say when he created the first black Wow you are the first non-white I made

What happened to the woman who was raped? She was mentally scarred for life and finds it hard to trust men.

You hear a big Boom, and run in, and see a shattered toilet, and a very BIG dying woman, on the floor next to it.

Three men are walking and one falls over, he then gets up and continues walking.

Doctor, I keep imagining Doctors. *hayball rolls*

Why did Sally have a bad vacation? Sally was shot at by a sniper.

Why was the boy sad. Because he had been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and he had been told he has three days to live. That's why.

A penguin bikes to a bakery, the baker asks him "what kind of bread do you want?" Penguin replies "it doesn't matter, im biking"

What's the difference between a male dog and a female? One is a bitch. There are numerous other differences.

did you here the one about the disabled downs child dying? of course you didn't that would be a horrible joke

Q. What did Tarzan Say when he met Jane? A. Tarzan Being raised by apes and not learning English would have no knowledge of the language and would probably hoot and screech like his fellow ape brothers

why is yo mamma fat? cause she likes doughnuts

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I probably wouldn't.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Shrubs are red, Trees are red, Holy shit my garden's on fire!

your gay

How do you get pikachu on a bus? You don't pokemon are fictional characters

A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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