why is yo mamma fat? cause she likes doughnuts

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? A healthy, balanced diet consisting of all food groups, unless they are vegetarian or vegan, hence they will not consume any meats or animal products.

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Guess what? You just lost the game.

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A man walks in to a bar, the bartender asks "what will it be?" The man says i don't know, what will it be?"

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A women leaves the kitchen.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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A dog goes into a bar. He is wearing an eye patch. The dog says to the bartender, "Have you heard the one about the one-eyed dog?" The bartender, who is deaf in one ear, thinks the dog is making fun of him. He asks him to leave. The dog says, "Don't you have a sense of humor, deafie?" At the end of his shift, the bartender is tired of all the jokes. Today it's a one-eyed dog. Yesterday it was a horse with rickets. The day before: ants. He lives above the bar, in a small room. He spends the night alone there, listing to his battery operated radio, which picks up only a bad jazz station. He listens to bad jazz with his bad ear.

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why did my girlfriend get pregnet? i didn's use a condom, and my semen entered her long muscular tube, also known as a vagina.

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If an iPad 2 is better than an iPad 1, than what's better than an iPad 2? An iPad 3

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What's more fun than nailing babies to a wall? Ripping them off again.

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What is the same about a bird and a turtle? They can both fly . . . except for the turtle

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Why are these jokes so funny? I don't know?

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What begins with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Your neighbor

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What's black and blue and red all over? Due to the infinite nature of the universe many items both natural and manufactured could be described in this manner.

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An Israeli, a Palestinian and an American walk into a bar. The Israeli shoots the Palestinian and says it was self defence. The American agrees with him.

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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The song Friday Rules!

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, the holocaust was a tragic event in human history.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what can I get you?" The man replies "what do you recommend?" The bartender says "get a beer." The man says "okay."

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What's the differrence between a park bench and a black person... A park bench can support a family

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch". The nearby patrons ask him what is ailing him.

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Knock Knock Dude i am not going to answer the door

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops. What's worse than being raped by a Triceratops? Being gang raped by a herd of Triceratops.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation can be known as fishing for compliments or reassurance of your value as a human being. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops