Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was mmfmffemuuuuuffuummuuuuuluuu.

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Ask me if I am an orange. "Are you an orange?" No.

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A women leaves the kitchen.

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What's red ad spins in circles? A baby with it's head nailed to the ground.

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The song Friday Rules!

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A dog goes into a bar. He is wearing an eye patch. The dog says to the bartender, "Have you heard the one about the one-eyed dog?" The bartender, who is deaf in one ear, thinks the dog is making fun of him. He asks him to leave. The dog says, "Don't you have a sense of humor, deafie?" At the end of his shift, the bartender is tired of all the jokes. Today it's a one-eyed dog. Yesterday it was a horse with rickets. The day before: ants. He lives above the bar, in a small room. He spends the night alone there, listing to his battery operated radio, which picks up only a bad jazz station. He listens to bad jazz with his bad ear.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You touch yourself. I do, too.

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Q: what do you call a black guy on the moon A: An astronaut you resist bastard

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If an iPad 2 is better than an iPad 1, than what's better than an iPad 2? An iPad 3

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What's the differrence between a park bench and a black person... A park bench can support a family

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your gay

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What begins with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Your neighbor

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Why are these jokes so funny? I don't know?

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What is black, white and hungry? A woman with a rare skin disorder known as Vitiligo which causes discolourtion of the skins pigment in patches; who is hungry.

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how did the girl fall off the swing. BECAUSE SHE HAD NO ARMS HAHAHAH

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A man walks in to a bar, the bartender asks "what will it be?" The man says i don't know, what will it be?"

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why is yo mamma fat? cause she likes doughnuts

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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Knock Knock Dude i am not going to answer the door

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Q: What has two wheels and is not funny? A:Ryan Vallee on a segway -Ryan V

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Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but if you set him on fire, he'll die

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops. What's worse than being raped by a Triceratops? Being gang raped by a herd of Triceratops.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Q: why is the squirrel stuck in the tree? A: because he should have finished high school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops