What did my mom say when she walked in my room? You smell like body oder.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops. What's worse than being raped by a Triceratops? Being gang raped by a herd of Triceratops.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, the holocaust was a tragic event in human history.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats red, green, and goes 60 mph? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

An Israeli, a Palestinian and an American walk into a bar. The Israeli shoots the Palestinian and says it was self defence. The American agrees with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What happens when you cross a housecat with a feral cat? A kitten is born.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation can be known as fishing for compliments or reassurance of your value as a human being. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down +163

Bill: Did you hear about the black guy that went to college? John: No. Bill: me neither...

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Yeah, you cant make nukes without certain components which are illegal to come by, you know Iranian Uranium I believe, I still feel pretty ill, if you dont mind, lets change the subject. Say, does the word yellowcake mean anything to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't keep a Ferrari in my garage. (????)?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a girl with 2 brains? Pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Three men walk into a bar because they were all blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man dropped his pen so he picked it up. He is satisfied that he is a sufficient worker.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

I'm Halarious.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. He leaves the bar slightly intoxicated.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you keep an italian from talking? You duct tape his mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a bowl of cereal and a bowl of pudding? A bowl of cereal has milk in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why'd jimmy drop his candy wrapper? He was brutally melested and stabbed I the eyeballs with forks and cut into pieces before he could make it to the trash can. He was then thrown into the trash can he was going to.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

how did the little girl get to heaven? she died.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a kleenex and a man? One absorbs your tears while the other makes you cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +224

What do people say? words.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops