why did the guy with cancer die? because he had cancer

What do you call a girl with 2 brains? Pregnant

Why can't Tom go horse back riding? He is paralized from the neck down

Yeah, you cant make nukes without certain components which are illegal to come by, you know Iranian Uranium I believe, I still feel pretty ill, if you dont mind, lets change the subject. Say, does the word yellowcake mean anything to you?

Whats the difference between a fire hydrant and the color green? They're both green. Except the fire hydrant.

Why'd jimmy drop his candy wrapper? He was brutally melested and stabbed I the eyeballs with forks and cut into pieces before he could make it to the trash can. He was then thrown into the trash can he was going to.

A guy walks into a store and buys a sandwich.

What's the difference between a kleenex and a man? One absorbs your tears while the other makes you cry.

Knock. Knock. Who's There? Its Jim, is Craig home? No he moved out sorry.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't keep a Ferrari in my garage. (????)?

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation can be known as fishing for compliments or reassurance of your value as a human being. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

Whats red, green, and goes 60 mph? A frog in a blender.

A man dropped his pen so he picked it up. He is satisfied that he is a sufficient worker.

What happens when you cross a housecat with a feral cat? A kitten is born.

What's the difference between a bowl of cereal and a bowl of pudding? A bowl of cereal has milk in it.

Three men walk into a bar because they were all blind.

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

Bill: Did you hear about the black guy that went to college? John: No. Bill: me neither...

How do you keep an italian from talking? You duct tape his mouth.

I'm Halarious.

A man walks into a bar. He leaves the bar slightly intoxicated.

Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

Your mother is so fat that her body takes up more space than the average woman.

What do people say? words.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...