I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

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no

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

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I am black.

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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If life throws you lemons Catch them

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Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

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What do you call a racist guy surrounded by a gang of black pepole? Dead.

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Shit.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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