Freedom of Speech

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

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Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

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What do you get when you cross Arsene Wenger with Darth Vader? Arsene Vader

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FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

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A Man walks into a bar and orders a scotch. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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I'm not racist... Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what did the man with no legs get for Christmas? A piano

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What is the difference between a man and a woman? Genitals

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did you hear about the sidewalk? its all over town.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car!

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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whats funnier than the boy with no arms and legs getting cancer? lebron playing basketball

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My dad beats my mom At checkers

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Mmmmmmm Lemons

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Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

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Knock Knock. F uck off.

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corey is a nipplepotomus

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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