How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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The chicken crossed the road.

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how do you get a blue waffle? paint your vagina blue

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Q: where did the pickle live? A: In the desert

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How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

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Yo momma is so dumb she... oh god, i'm so sorry, she was driving and she just looked down at her cellphone and there was a red light and all the cars were coming she didn't even stop oh god i'm so sorry.

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What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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Did you know Helen Keller had a cat? Neither did she

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

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What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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A Ferrari Enzo and a Toyota Prius were having a street race. The Driver of the Ferrari died after he was hit by a bus.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Six hasn't been the same since Vientnamn

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Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

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Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

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Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

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what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

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A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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