Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing, the black person was sleeping.

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women's rights

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

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What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

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Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

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What's big, black, wide, long, and has white lines all over it? A new highway road.

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why was the kid named owen? Because thats what his parents wnted him to be named

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hi bye

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why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

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A Jew returns change.

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whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

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There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

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What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

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Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

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What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

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What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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