Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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the awkward moment when you kill everyone in school and blame it on the fat kid

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A blind man walks into a bar... He tragicly attracts aids and dies as the bar is shut down for health purposes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops