Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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So a man walks into a bar... ouch

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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Cripples are lame.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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