Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

So a bar walks into a man...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

thumb_up thumb_down -32

—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

thumb_up thumb_down -38

why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

yo mamma's so fat she's fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +33

men, men like men= men+bed

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why do some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because they can be extreamly delishus and satisfying to eat. Why dont some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because then we would all be too big to fit on earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops