What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

What did ahmet say to adem...? LEMME SUCK ON THOSE TITS joke made by dark

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

What's white and sticky.... Jizz

Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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