Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The Earth is a nice place to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did John say to Trojan? Hi Trojan

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

i have a white dog on my and have the strangest boner

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

In Soviet Russia You drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hey Babies, The holocaust called, they want their screams back

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

thumb_up thumb_down -19

This anti-joke below is hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What are three things an average teenager cannot live without? Oxygen, Food, and Water. Duh.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red, I'm tired... I think I'll lie down now

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops