How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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