Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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Ross.

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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i'm an inbred jew - Barras

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

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How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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