Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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bite me

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops