Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

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.der era sesoR .eulb era steloiV .sdrawkcab nettirw saw ecnetnes sihT .yrgnuh m'I won dnA

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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Q: What can a black man do that a llama can't? A: Walk

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Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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"What's long, black, and smelly?" "The unemployment line." Upon hearing his boss tell this joke, the accountant files a complaint with human resources and the boss must attend several work training classes to develop a better sense of racial awareness and compassion. The workplace soon becomes a much less threatening environment for all people.

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops