a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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civil rights

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

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Knock Knock? Come in.

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what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Cheese

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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