what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +20

whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's upside down? umop apisdn

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops