What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

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A black succeeds

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

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What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

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That awkward moment when you thought this joke was going to be good but you thought wrong. Keep looking for good jokes.

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whats the diffference between pizza and a jew? burning a pizza makes me sad, burning a jew is worthy of a party!

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Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

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roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

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how do you get a blue waffle? paint your vagina blue

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How much does a Mexican Parade cost? A Nickel

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''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

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Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

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Three kids were waiting in line at a camp. One said how long is the wait. The other two said i hope its long. They were waiting in line for the gas chambers at auchwitz

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The chicken crossed the road.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the dentist? A: Because he was dying of brain cancer.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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What's better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

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If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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