Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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Some potential names for Justin Beiber's next album: Headache Wailing and Screaming Eardrum Rapist Anger Half Price Indescribable Out of Print April Fools The Sounds of Hell Torture Ear Basher

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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Jamie Oliver eats a chip

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Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine. Maybe that's why he died of tuberculosis.

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an iman all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke? Muslims don't drink beer."

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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