Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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why are black people always so funny because they think of funny jokes

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How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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