How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

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What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

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What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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