Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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How many anti jokes can you make from one joke? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. And so on.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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