Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are black violets are black i am blind

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops