How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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eh

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

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What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

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What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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