what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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Cripples are lame.

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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