How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

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What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

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What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

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::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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whats worst then antijokes? the holocaust

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

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What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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