A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you thought it gay unicorn

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

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i wonder who made this website? a human

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Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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