The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Justin Bieber

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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If a red house is made out of red bricks, and a blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is a green house made out of? Green bricks.

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this website is a bad joke

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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