Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Jimmy Saville

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops