Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops