what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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Obama

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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karn chevalier

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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There is a very old lady at the bottom of a long flight of steep stairs with a large amount of groceries piled up in her hands. How did she make it to the top?? She walked.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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