An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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