How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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FUCK YOU

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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What is my name? I dont know

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what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops