What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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I'm homeless.

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I have cancer. And you're next.

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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What did the tree say to the kite? She got hit by a fridge.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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