Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

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An Asian couple walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, pays, and leaves

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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What's worse than a bad joke? A joke that end's mid sente--

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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