What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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