Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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A cat ran into the road...I hit it

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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jews

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

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dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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why did the black man drink grape kool-aid kool-aid refreshed him after a hard days work out in the field picking cotton

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops