Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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