How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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How do you cure cancer? do i look like NASA?

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When u send someone fudge, u must send a note along with it! Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge

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Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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A man sees the most beautiful woman he's ever seen on the street. He takes her into a dark alley and r.apes her.

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whats black and hangs from my tree a plum

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If chuck Norris is so awesome how come he's not at my house slamming my face into the keybodhdtegdudgegdtdjaowpqhwvsmx vxbdnsksksh

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Hey do you know who is in the yard? Not the boys, they all died in a horrific fire last Christmas.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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who's specky and stinks of shit? josh moran

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A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

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Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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whats the difference between a baby and a puppy? i care when the puppy dies....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops