Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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