How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

Potassium? K.

Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

Corn Muffins

How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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