The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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Homo say what?

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What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

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Your mom is so stupid, she stole free samples.

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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69 :) 3====D:). [{}]:)

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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What do you call a dog with 2 legs? Doesn't matter, it's not going to come anyways.

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What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

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How many orangoutangs does it take to screw in a light bulb? 16; mongoloid

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a box of cheerios? "Lovely, I think I'll have some of these for breakfast today. The wholegrain will be good for me."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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