how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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12 in general

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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what's funny about war? nothing!

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops