a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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