A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

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knock knock who's there boo boo who why are you crying it's just a joke

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

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Why did the teenager crash his car? He had no arms

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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