How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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a blind person walks into a deaf person and the deaf person says "dadadader"

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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What's the difference between a duck? Both legs are of equal length, especially the right.

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Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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Kevin and Ramin

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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Want to burn 3000 calories in under 5 MINUTES? Take a store bought pizza and put it in the over for as long as you want. Just watch the calories burn away in a puff of smoke!

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

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What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops