2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

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Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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I? Everett

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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