What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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roses are red violets are violet hey look up there! Its a suicide pilot!

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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What do you call Americans Watching Canadians? Hockey

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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In the movie "Sherlock Holmes". Why is Sherlock Holmes gay???? Because he was chasing "Blackwood".

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what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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What do you do when a blonde takes the pin out of a grenade and throws it at you? Take cover as there is a person close to you wielding an active grenade.

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops