What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

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Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

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And you honored it I see :P

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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civil rights

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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