- Anti Joke

2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

why weren't all the jews wiped out in WW2 the gas bill was too expensive

Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

yo mama soooooooooooo fat that she should be concerned of the incressed risk of dibties

What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood