jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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