knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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You should put some sand in your vagina to make the crabs feel more at home.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Yo mama's so stupid, she put the baby in the microwave

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I am a mime

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops