Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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1/= |_| (4|\| /234|) 7|-|15 (411 */0|_|/2531/= 4 1337 |-|4><0/2!!!1!

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There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

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why did the black guy talk to the monkey? they were in the same cage.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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