Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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What do you call a orange BAD GRAMMER

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whats better then a pile of dead babies? 2 piles of dead babies

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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