What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

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what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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roses are red poo is poo

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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Cancer

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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